Bodies...

On my main blog, there are subjects I have revisited many a time, because I cannot quite find the words to say what it is that I mean to say.  And then there are some subjects that are revisited because there is too much to say in the first place.  Here, the subject of bodies, is one of both.

Children learn about the world through their bodies. If they are protected and nourished, they feel at home in their bodies. Living in their bodies is a source of pleasure, accomplishment, and satisfaction.

When children are sexually abused, they learn that the world, and their bodies, are not safe. Abused children experience pain, fear, and conflicting sensations of arousal. Often they leave their bodies to avoid these feelings—or numb themselves as best they can.

For abused children, the body is a place where frightening and painful things happen. They learn to always be on alert, to be ready for danger. Or they cut themselves off from their bodies and learn to ignore them, living mostly in their heads. For many survivors, the experience of trauma leaves a deep impression on the body.  (The Courage to Heal, Bass & Davis, p. 7)

Take a look at any baby and you will quickly see that children learn about the world through their bodies.  Their first discoveries are often with their own bodies ... tongues, toes, fingers, fists.  As soon as they are able, they begin exploring their world with their hands and feet, grasping and kicking aplenty.  But they also learn safety and comfort through their bodies.  They are held by their parents.  They rest against their mother's breast to nurse.  Their skin is stroked and kissed.  Touch is comfort.  Closeness is safety.

Yet for the sexual abuse survivor—from infant to adult—their own body can become a place of fear and shame, a place of horror and pain, a place to flee.

Think about that for a moment.
And another.

Children learn through their bodies even before they speak.  Children learn through their bodies before they understand what it is that they are learning.  It is no wonder, then, that sexual abuse leaves a deep impression on the body.

Sometimes that impression is known.
Sometimes is it unknown.
Sometimes it is both.

Often, it makes no sense.

Well, if you understand the whys and wherefores of how the body responds to trauma and if you consider how much we learn through our bodies, then sexual abuse survivors struggles and responses make perfect sense.  All that is part of what I would like to share.  The body's response to trauma and responses common to many.  But the basic block of all of that is understanding that sexual abuse survivors have bodily wounds that can color all that they think about and do with their bodies.

For the Christian, this struggle with the body can be more damaging, for there is a physicality about the sweet, sweet Gospel that cannot be ignored or escaped.  That physicality can both soothe and agitate.  Both.  One or the other.  Both.  And, again, it is not so much important that you understand why  or how this can be so.  It is merely important that you accept that such can be the case.

Children learn about the world through their bodies. If they are protected and nourished, they feel at home in their bodies. Living in their bodies is a source of pleasure, accomplishment, and satisfaction.

When children are sexually abused, they learn that the world, and their bodies, are not safe. Abused children experience pain, fear, and conflicting sensations of arousal. Often they leave their bodies to avoid these feelings—or numb themselves as best they can.

For abused children, the body is a place where frightening and painful things happen. They learn to always be on alert, to be ready for danger. Or they cut themselves off from their bodies and learn to ignore them, living mostly in their heads. For many survivors, the experience of trauma leaves a deep impression on the body.  (The Courage to Heal, Bass & Davis, p. 7)

It is okay of you hate your body.
It is okay of you are ashamed of your body.
It is okay if you flee from your body.

You are still without blemish and are still clean.
You are still fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are still forgiven.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!